Arospec message board 2026

I love being aro so much. It's allowed me to deconstruct how I view relationships and what is important about them without the burden of societal expectation on what love or romance is "supposed" to look like. You can make so many deep connections with people by not limiting yourself to a relationship hierarchy.- K

Never stop being yourself- Storm

Here we go. This is me trying to speak for myself.I want to live my best life. I truly do.I can't help shedding a tear or a river because my existence goes against amatonormativity. I love being aromantic, I'm proud of it even, but I don't love nor am I proud of living in a society like this.Whenever I get to wonder how it might feel like to be someone who isn't me, someone allo, someone who maybe prefers romance or anything like that, sometimes I'd go like, "woah, imagine, they could do/have that or do/have that easier."Recently, I told someone a thought that I'm truly terrified of,"What if society stays this way in my lifetime?"... What if I don't get to experience what I could've had and wanted for myself?The amount of art I could've enjoyed and cherished with my whole heart, the music I could've sung and played that wouldn't be someone else's feelings but feelings that reflected mine, all the chances I could've had to explore the meaning of relationship with people who see me, the beautiful memories I could've taken with me to my grave, the comfort I could've found in life if I just said yes to society and no to my own heart.I love being aromantic but sometimes I feel like I was made to live a life that was nerfed. All of this just because I said no to one type of relationship.And it's not a pleasant experience to sometimes feel like everyone is comfortable with this kind of setup and I'm the person who has to get over it.How do I get over it when this is all of me? How can I smile when you're telling me to get over my reasons to live? Am I meant for a life of loneliness and crumbs simply because my way of being doesn't follow your idea of being?I try to be weeds that break through concrete, but I don't want to stay like this forever. I want to be a tree and I deserve a chance to be one.Please sow. Please nurture it. Please do something.- Runrun

I have tons of other issues that impact my ability to socialize. But being repulsed does play a part of that. Growing distant from a space just because I realize allo jokes and such will be a constant thing in it. I do try to be fine with it but it's struggle. Only until it gets to the point it's another space I just drifted away from.- kay :o)

i wish more people understood that romantic consent is just as important as sexual consent and that romantic coercion is a very real and harmful thing- 🍀

I love non-romantic closeness and wish it was more prevalent. QPRs, my beloved…- Meow

FUCK SOCIETY AND FIGHT BACK- T

(at family) when i say i am never going to marry i am dead serious! it doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, i'm already so rarely interested in people as is (i am demiromantic), it's not happening, and the guilttripping about not getting grandkids is really gross!!- Nassim

I fall in love with people fast, not in a romantic way, and as a result I kinda get friendship rejected a lot bc ppl don't want to "date" their friends. So I want ppl to go on more dates with their friends and put more effort into all their relationships! I think everyone would feel more fulfilled if people let themselves feel strongly about their friends and didn't put romantic relationships on a high pedestal.- ^^

I think Ace people/ Aroace people are cool! However I am NOT ace! I'm just aromantic. I'm not dead inside, or cruel or sex obsessed, I'm just aromantic.- I'm NOT ace

I'd like people to have more knowledge of what being aro is and not treat it like some secondary trait at best that you always have to make up for.- K(2)

I think many of us would benefit from not assuming all aromantic people desire/have other types of relationships (mainly platonic), as if they're "replacements" for romantic ones. Sometimes it feels like the "power of friendship" has become a kind of replacement for the "power of (romantic) love" even in aromantic spaces, which is basically the same idea with a platonic twist. I'm on the aplatonic spectrum, and while I do have those whom I consider friends and I care about them, I attribute that care to common courtesy and my general empathy rather than my connection to them. In my view, I just chill with whomever I feel like, whenever I feel like, and it just so happens that some individuals are generally very chillable with to me.- Anonymous

You can have romantic ideals and still be aromantic. You can think you're in love and then only realize through a relationship that you were never meant to live like that. Romantic love can be torture, yet it's something I could never understand until it ripped me apart from inside out.- BB

It’s hard to get close to people in a way that speaks to me out of fear others will expect more from me. There’s a gap between friendship and romance where no one else dares to go, they just cross the bridge above to get from one point to the other. I want to meet people above, but I feel more than those on the friendship side feel, and I fear the intentions of the romantic side. It can be very alone underneath this bridge.- K(3)

I feel like many people get scared of finding out they are aro, or even other people might judge you and dont understand what it means. Stay calm, its just what you are and it doesn't mean you are a monster who can't love. We who are aro can find love everywhere. Don't be afraid, its a journey either way- F

I can be just as happy thriving on my own as you believe I would be within a relationship.- 🤍

Amatonormativity doesn't just hurt aspec people. It hurts you. Yes, even you. It's fucked up that the world insists that romantic relationships are more valuable than platonic and familial. Just because I don't love you romantically doesn't mean that my love for you is somehow lesser. I can and do love you just as strongly, and it's saddening to think that friendship and platonic love are so undervalued. Have we learned nothing from Twilight Sparkle? Friendship is magic!- Q

never devalue the platonic relationships in your life <3- cherryade

I haven’t “not found the right person yet”. There is no person. There doesn’t need to be a special person. I am happy as I am!- Jamie

I don't need relationships or attraction to be happy. Friendship alone is more than good enough for me, because I know I'd be the worst romantic partner ever. Instead, I can try my best to be a good friend, and that satisfies me.- Bug

I wish allos wouldn’t condescend to me, especially since it’s so opposite to how I feel. Their straight way of life is unbearable and a nightmare to me.- Megs

Platonic love can be just as intense, and I'm terrified of becoming an afterthought when the people I love get into romantic relationships.- S

We're not THAT different. You don't have to treat me or talk to me differently just because I'm aroace.- Em

Thanks to everyone who made this ASAW special. green hearts
It does feel less lonely when I see how many of us arospecs there are, each sharing their experiences over this week- april

Being aromantic to me is not about "lacking" anything. I feel like, people only see aromanticism as the things I don't do or feel and that's really the wrong way to think about it. Romance simply doesn't have any significance to me, except for when people try to force it into my life. And with this experience comes a certain perspective on media, relationships, life choices etc. that usually gets dismissed as only being relevant to aromantic people. It's like our existence is only tolerable, if we're this seperate group of people with no overlap with "normal" "whole" people.- eeeeeee

I am a whole person. Some people may see me and think I'm alone and incomplete because I lack a "partner" , but I'm honestly full and happy. I find me friendships and platonic relationships fulfilling, and I honestly don't want or need anything else. I'm grateful for your concern, since it comes from a place of love, but I wish you understood my happiness doesn't look necessarily like you think it should look. And I'm OK with that- K(4)

never bending to societal expectations is not something wrong, it's better to question ourselves than to stand there, maintaining a status quo we don't really care about.- jo